Ch.58— Books and Worry

Amy stared at the red book in her hands with a frown, then looked up.
Libris—the human version of them with cracks all over their body—was standing directly behind the couch in the living room of the apartment where Amy sat, bracing themselves against the backrest while looking at her fixedly with their red eyes.
“Amy,” Libris said with a sigh. “We don’t have much time.”
Amy looked at them without responding. Something about their expression was off… Was it just her imagination, or maybe Libris hadn’t fully adjusted to their new form as she noticed multiple times the muscles of her face twitching and her breath getting harder suddenly. Almost like she was in pain.
Libris shook their head at her silent stare. “We’ll talk after. The manga first… please.”
Amy frowned. There was something deeply strange about hearing that voice come from a face instead of the back of her head. The fact that she didn’t understand why or how they had gotten a body only made her confusion grow worse…
She had so much to talk about and so many things to say, and as always, for some reason, she simply couldn’t.
“Amy,” Libris called once again, bringing her out of her thoughts, and then pointed at the book version of themselves, which had already transformed into a manga tome.
Amy’s frown deepened, but her hands were already opening the book. Libris was right; they should obviously prioritize the manga chapters to prepare for future developments. But still, she had gone through so much and had nobody to talk to about it… Was it that much to ask for only five minutes?
“When I finish, we’d better have a damn long conversation,” she finally said.
There was no reply from above, which caused Amy to bite her lip and take a deep breath.
One breath, then another. It was only after the third breath that she gazed downward, toward the book in her hands. The first chapter was marked as 163, and its title was “What We Leave Behind.”
The cover art was a split image. On the left: darkness, and inside the darkness, Crow suspended mid-fall with his left arm already absent, golden light washing over him from above.
On the right: Amy, clutching a burning book to her chest with both hands, her face turned slightly away from the viewer.
Between the two images, golden light spread outward.
“Ugh,” Amy said immediately.
“Something wrong?”
“After everything that happened, I can’t help but think that this composition is foreshadowing… I really hope I’m not set up as Crow’s enemy.”
“Mmm? What are you…”
Amy looked up to find Libris tilting their head with a confused expression, then opening their eyes slowly, as if realizing something.
“Oh, you really did it now, Amy.”
“Did what?”
“Nothing. It’s just that the events that happened while I was sleeping are slowly coming back. Please don’t mind me and continue.”
Amy paused, then tilted her head. “Is that why you don’t want to converse right now…?”
“Among other things.”
The manga in Amy’s hands began to tremble slightly, bringing her attention back to it.
Amy frowned while staring fixedly at Libris’s book form for a moment, but soon turned the page.
The chapter opened with a scene already shown in the manga—the confrontation with Abaddon in the cabin as chaos creatures tried to enter right before being teleported to the academy—but this time from Crow’s perspective.
The first pages showed the moment Libris’s light erupted, rendered in a full double-page spread, as the chaos creatures dissolved.
Crow’s internal monologue read: What is that light?
In the next panel, his remaining hand reached for Bloodedge on instinct, even as the light erased everything around them.
Whose power is that?
He was looking at Amy, or rather, at what she was holding.
The pages moved quickly after that. Crow registered Abaddon’s retreat before the ground began to shake. The teleporter activation was shown as a bloom of light, then black.
His loss of consciousness was handled with a couple of internal monologue lines that described him falling deeper into an “ocean of darkness.”
Amy couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the wording. How was it possible to make a tense, scary, and honestly kind of traumatic scene like the one she had lived through so damn edgy? The Goddess really had a talent.
With a sigh, she continued reading. The following pages showed events she had mostly witnessed firsthand, so she mostly skipped them; after Crow fainted, the perspective shifted to everyone panicking about what had just happened, Lyra curing Crow, Iris confronting Amy for answers she had lied about giving later, and the group planning what to do next.
Chapter 163 ended with Amy saying she had a plan as she took the lead while Crow was out.
“Libris,” Amy said to the ceiling.
“Mmm?” Libris tilted their head.
Amy stared fixedly at the woman, who looked uncannily like her, for a few seconds before speaking. “Are you alright?”
“Amy… We don’t—”
“Just respond to this one question, please.”
Libris sighed, then tilted their head slightly with an eyebrow raised. “Clarify.”
“Are you…” Amy gestured vaguely at them, at the fractures running along their skin like broken porcelain. “Alright? Like in pain?”
Libris was quiet for a moment. Their red eyes didn’t waver, but their lips twitched slightly at her words.
“Depends,” they said finally.
Amy looked down at her lap. She thought about the light, and the cabin, and the way the book in her hands had saved her. If she had been stronger, more careful, or better prepared…
“Libris—”
“Don’t apologize, Amy. You did nothing wrong.”
“I wasn’t going to apologize…”
“You were.” Libris’s voice was dry, but not unkind. They shifted their weight against the couch’s backrest and patted Amy’s head. “And it would be misplaced. Because thanks to you…” They paused. “I’m closer to the last step.”
Amy looked up. “The last step.”
“To become human.” Libris held her gaze steadily. “Properly and entirely.”
The words settled in the room. Amy studied them, scanning from the top of their head down to their hands. As she looked at the person in front of her, confusion flooded her mind.
“Your body, isn’t it—”
“Next chapter, Amy.”
“I’m just asking—”
“Amy Stake.” Libris pointed at the now trembling book in her hands. “Chapter one hundred and sixty-four [A Dire Situation]. Please read it.”
Amy pressed her lips together. She looked at Libris for one more long second, then dropped her gaze to the manga, exhaling through her nose.
“You are so insufferable,” she muttered.
There was no reply.
She turned the page. The cover was divided into three tall panels.
Iris and Lain were in the left one, walking through a corridor with furniture hanging above them. They looked small in the drawing. Iris was pointing at something outside the panel, and Lain was beside her.
In the center: Zayd, seated in perfect posture on the ground beside the dormant teleporter with a steaming cup in his hands and an unconscious Ash sprawled out on the ground next to him.
On the right: Amy herself, walking backward with Crow’s torso in her arms and Lyra holding his legs. Where Crow’s missing arm should have been, the artist had left the page blank. There weren’t even any shadows there. Amy’s eyes went straight to it.
A golden thread crossed from one panel into the next, connecting all three groups.
“‘A Dire Situation,’” Amy read aloud. “Such a boring and predictable title.”
“I don’t pick them,” Libris said from behind the couch. “C’mon, stop hating and get to reading.”
Amy sighed, then turned the page.
Luckily, or maybe unluckily from a practical perspective, the chapter did not open with her.
Iris and Lain were still exploring the inverted corridors. It looked like only ten minutes or so had passed since they’d split from the others. Iris had her hands behind her head and was explaining something as they walked. Lain followed just behind her.
“I’m saying, if all the furniture’s up there, maybe that’s the floor. Wouldn’t that make this the ceiling? Lain?”
“…Yes.”
“Yes, you agree, or yes, you’re listening?”
Lain looked at her.
“What was I talking about?” Iris asked.
“Furniture.”
“Well, you got some of it.”
They went on exploring. Amy watched Iris decide that a wall looked suspicious and punch it. The sound effect covered about a third of the panel, which seemed a bit excessive considering the wall was still there afterwards.
“Almost indestructible,” Iris announced.
Further on, they came to a wooden door in a stairwell. It looked heavy, with iron bands reinforcing it. Lain stopped to examine it, and Amy read her thoughts beside the panel.
Stairs go up. A balcony, perhaps? If it opens outside, we need to be careful.
It was a balcony. They checked it before returning downstairs to continue looking around. Amy turned another couple of pages before reaching a spread in color. The corridor had opened into the hall with the seven doors, drawn across both pages.
Iris wanted to try the handles one by one, but was stopped by Lain, who advised caution.
After some conversation between the two, they eventually decided to explore the rest of the academy. It was during these panels of exploration that they heard a noise, which they then decided to head toward.
The perspective shifted then. Her own section came next—the carrying of the unconscious Crow and the conversation with Lyra. Amy flipped through it quickly because she had lived every step of it. She stopped at the conversation about baking. They’d talked about going out together once they were done with all of this. Amy read that bit again before moving on.
Near the end, Amy paused over a drawing of herself walking through the dark. It was from Lyra’s perspective, so all she could see was her own back, with gold from the symbols on the walls lighting her shoulders. The text box beneath it read:
“Despite everything, I can’t help but doubt her intentions. Is following whatever her plan is really the right path?”
Amy frowned at that panel. Then she turned the page quickly.
The following part made her sigh more than a few times as it illustrated the part where Amy and Lyra were getting Crow’s shirt off for the blood ritual connecting him to the Academy’s barrier.
It was at that compromising moment that Iris and Lain walked in, attracted by the noise of their conversation. Iris’s face took up a whole page. Apparently her surprise needed that much space, and the artist had put far too much effort into drawing every detail of it. Then came the argument over the hostage plan.
Amy remembered that conversation well enough. She was turning the pages quickly when she noticed something she hadn’t known at the time.
During her own speech, the part where Iris had caved with suspicious speed—“Your plan is actually kind of genius”—the manga gave Iris a thought box:
“I need to keep an eye open for her.”
Amy—the current one—frowned at the suspicion directed at her, just as she had with Lyra. For some unknown and completely incomprehensible reason, which she absolutely did not understand in the slightest, everyone was suspicious of her constantly. Being mysterious at first was fun and all, but it was getting quite old now that she was interacting truthfully with them. Really, what was there to be suspicious of? She just hid some information here and there, not a big deal…
Out of the corner of her eye, Amy saw Libris—who had moved from behind and was now sitting next to her—shaking their head with a smile, as if they could read Amy’s thoughts.
That’s right, they could always tell what I was thinking despite stating multiple times they could not read my mind.
Amy, expressionless, held Libris’s gaze silently as a wave of sudden numbness started washing over her.
Libris’s smile slowly dropped as the seconds kept ticking. Then they turned their gaze away; at the same time, the red book Amy held began trembling as if seeking her attention.
Amy only bit her lip before going back to the manga chapter.
The conversation among the four of them continued. Amy shared her plan, and they were discussing how to proceed until someone else arrived—it was Zayd, carrying Ash.
It was then that the perspective shifted once more, this time to the past.
The next section opened in the teleporter chamber, showing Zayd alone with an unconscious Ash, with a text box indicating it was minutes after everyone else had left him behind.
Zayd knelt at the edge of the platform and followed the runes with a finger. He was still holding a teacup in his other hand. Amy read the boxes of his thoughts beneath the drawings.
“The activation matrix accepts remote resonance, which means anyone with the correct frequency can trigger it from anywhere. Miss Stake claimed she left me to guard the entrance, a strategically sound assignment. However, it is not optimal, as shown by past events; if we want to leave this place successfully, we will have to stay together as much as possible. Can I do something about this?”
What followed was a montage: three failed attempts at rewriting the matrix, each one shown. On the second attempt, the feedback magic lashed up from the runes toward him, knocking him onto his butt; he then stood up and cleared his throat after making sure Ash was still asleep.
“That’s…” Amy muttered, then closed her mouth, stopping herself. For some reason, seeing Zayd fall in such a comedic way felt almost illegal.
What was worse was that it happened three more times.
I will be erasing this memory from my recollection entirely, Amy thought.
The manga continued with Zayd finishing the modification, standing, and looking down the corridor where the others had gone. His text box read:
Being led by emotions instead of logical thoughts is a foolish way to meet one’s demise. Yet despite that, I cannot help but feel confident about our odds of survival.
Amy Stake, whatever your motives are, I hope they align with mine. Because for the first time in my life, I will blindly follow someone—even if it is only for a bit.
Amy read the last line with a faint smile on her face.
“Finally, some trust. And from Zayd, out of everyone.”
“Not a wise choice by Zayd, I would say.”
Amy glanced sideways at Libris, who was watching her with a teasing smile, then rolled her eyes.
The last page brought everyone back together to discuss Amy’s plan and decide what to do next. Then the chapter was over.
Amy lowered the book. She’d meant to say something about it, but when she looked at Libris, she forgot what it was. The cracks were still there.
“I’m fine,” they said immediately. “Read the next chapter, Amy.”
She stayed where she was. It was her own face looking back at her, more or less, except for the fractures all over it.
“You’re not fine. And you should stop copying my worst habits.”
Libris chuckled.
“Pretending you’re fine when you clearly aren’t? Yes, that does sound like you.”
“I’m serious.” Amy leaned towards them. “I’ve asked you more than once now. Please just tell me what’s happening. Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
Libris stopped smiling. They looked at her for a while before leaning forward with a sigh.
“My contract with the Goddess broke. In the cabin, I used my power to save you in a way I wasn’t allowed to. Then I was pulled back from practically being dead and healed…” They paused. “Whatever held me to that contract is gone. I can do what I want with my power.”
Amy blinked at them.
“But that’s good, isn’t it?”
“It is. Very good.” Libris gave a small, crooked smile. “I can finally give myself a human form. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to maintain one. Calling this a body is being generous.”
Amy looked at their hands while they spoke.
“It’s temporary. And fragile enough that you could break it by hugging me too hard.” Their smile faded a little. “Keeping it here also hurts. Rather unbearably, to be honest.”
Amy couldn’t stop looking at the cracks.
“Then why are you doing it?” She tried not to raise her voice. “Libris, change back.”
They leaned closer instead. A finger caught a loose strand of her hair, and they smiled as they slowly turned it around their finger.
“No.”
Amy went still. She could feel herself getting warm, which only made her more frustrated. They’d just told her they were in unbearable pain. What was she supposed to do with that?
She started to speak, but Libris released her hair and tapped the book.
“We have more to read, Amy.”
She bit her lip. She wanted to argue. To make them stop using the body if it hurt that much. But they were looking straight at her, and she knew they weren’t going to change their answer.
Amy took a breath, then another, before managing to look away from them. The book was still open in her lap.
She went back to reading.