“Nothing else before you found the chamber?” Kaelen asked. He sat behind his desk with his fingertips pressed together, waiting for her to add something.
Twenty minutes. Amy had been here for twenty minutes, and she hadn’t seen him blink once.
There was very little to look at that didn’t make her uncomfortable. Bookshelves, glass cases with things she couldn’t identify inside them, and Kaelen on the other side of a large oak desk. The whole room smelled of old paper. She shifted in her chair; whoever had chosen it had clearly never intended to sit in it themselves.
“I’ve told you everything I noticed. The hallways were quiet, the floor felt… wrong. Then we found the passage.”
“And the monsters looked like students until you discovered what they were?”
“Yes. You couldn’t tell the difference before that.”
Kaelen wrote something in his notebook. Amy waited, listening to his quill scratch across the paper.
“Maintaining an illusion like that would require quite a bit of power,” he said. “You believe the Blood Emperor was involved?”
“From what we found in the ritual chamber, yes.”
“And you knew enough about ancient blood magic to interfere with the ritual. Despite being a first-year.”
Amy made herself look at him. “I didn’t recognize the magic itself.”
The clock behind her kept ticking. She was beginning to hate that thing.
“Hmm.” He shut the notebook, and she almost jumped. “Quite a first week you’ve had, Miss Stake. You’ll be pleased to hear we’re investigating.”
“That’s good.” Could she leave now? That sounded like the end of a conversation. She decided to take it as one.
She stood, and Kaelen looked down at the book in her hands. “May I take a look at that sometime? It’s an unusual tome.”
“Family heirloom,” Amy said, holding Libris against her chest. “Nothing particularly interesting.”
“You’d be surprised. I know a fair amount about artifacts. I might even be able to tell you where it came from.” His fingers moved on the desk as he spoke, though he didn’t reach for it.
[Don’t you dare give me up again, girl.]
“Sorry. It’s fragile, so I don’t let people handle it.”
“…Of course. Another time, perhaps.”
He didn’t sound pleased. Amy headed for the door, only for him to get up and follow her.
“There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask. My nephew, Zayd. You haven’t spoken to him yet, have you?”
She slowed. “Haven’t really had a reason to.”
“You should. He knows a great deal about prophetic abilities. Especially ones that appear without warning.” Kaelen reached across her to adjust a frame on the wall. His arm stayed in her way after the frame was straight. “Such as yours.”
Amy looked at his arm and waited.
“We do try to look after students with unusual talents. The Disciplinary Committee has been discussing how much some of them keep from us, particularly since this incident. Mandatory magical examinations have been suggested.”
He lowered his arm. Amy took the remaining steps to the door.
Before she could open it, he placed his hand against the wood.
“Zayd usually has tea in the East Tower gardens. Go and see him tomorrow afternoon. As your teacher, I strongly recommend it.” He leaned closer, still holding the door shut. “It’s best to have someone looking out for you here. Especially when you keep finding yourself involved in these incidents.”
Then he stepped aside. “Do think about it, Miss Stake. I wouldn’t decline an invitation like that.”
Amy walked until she was sure he couldn’t hear her before letting herself breathe properly. “Creepy fuck.”
[He’s threatening you.]
“No shit. He practically spelled it out.” She kept walking, clutching Libris hard enough to hurt her fingers.
[What will you do? The Gaspards tend to follow through on their warnings.]
“Dunno. I’m honestly so tired of giving a shit…”
Outside, she had to squint against the afternoon light. Classes didn’t start until tomorrow, so there weren’t many students about. A few were sitting together, talking about things that presumably didn’t involve being threatened by their professors.
Today is such a good day to rot in bed.
Amy took the path through the central gardens toward her dormitory. It was pleasant out, sunny even, and she still couldn’t get herself to relax.
“That’s her. Look.”
The first-years by the bench were all staring at her. Amy pretended she hadn’t heard, which was more effort than they were putting into pretending they weren’t watching.
As she walked toward her dormitory, the whispers followed her. Since there weren’t many people around, those who openly stared at her were quite hard to ignore.
Keeping her eyes fixed ahead, Amy quickened her pace. She wished they’d stop looking so pleased to see her.
A girl among the second-years took a step toward her. Her friend caught her arm and whispered something, and the girl stayed where she was. Amy kept going before either of them changed their mind.
She’d complained so much about people looking at her new face when she’d first arrived. Honestly, she would have liked to have that problem back. At least those people had only thought she was pretty.
Her jaw hurt by the time she entered the dormitory. She’d been clenching it without noticing. She got into the ‘elevator’ as quickly as she could, glad to have something between her and all those people who admired her while knowing nothing.
Once in her room, she went straight to the bed and dropped onto it, face-first.
[Your shoes, Amy. You’re getting dirt on the bedding.]
She pushed her face further into the pillow.
[The door is also open. Unless you’d like an audience?]
Amy groaned into the pillow before getting up just far enough to kick the door closed. Then she lay down again.
She could still hear students outside in the courtyard. In here there was only her breathing, which hadn’t quite settled yet. After a few minutes, it became unbearable.
“Libris,” she said finally, her voice muffled by the pillow.
[Yes?]
Amy rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. “Can I see my new status?”
[Very well.]
Libris floated, the pages glowing softly before revealing her updated status in its pages:
Name: Amy Stake
Special ability: Fate’s road.
STR: F / END: E / DEX: E / AGI: F / MAG: C (F)
READER SENTIMENT:
- Fanatic: 0.0%
- Devoted: 1.0% ↑ (Increase of 0.8% since last chapter)
- Like: 20.7% ↑ (Increase of 12.4% since last chapter)
- Neutral/Undecided: 77,49%↓ (Decrease of 13.51% since last chapter)
- Dislike: 0.8% ↑ (Increase of 0.3% since last chapter)
- Hate: 0.01% ↑ (Increase of 0.01% since last chapter)
Overall: Your ability power has increased to level 12.
Ability’s Mastery: 3
“Oh, you put percentages in.” Amy looked through the entries. “This is actually pretty good, Libris.”
[Thank you,] it said, apparently choosing to ignore the ‘actually’. [I can track the readers’ opinions of you now.]
“Only 0.8% dislike me?” She checked the line below it. “And 0.01% hate me? Are you sure? I read those comments.”
[Yes, and you’ve remembered the unpleasant ones. Most readers are still undecided. Some are beginning to like you. Very few hate you, however much those few have to say.]
“Huh.” She moved on to MAG, then stopped again. “Okay, explain this one. C and F? I can’t cast anything, Libris. How am I getting a C?” She poked the letter as if that would make the rating any clearer.
[Because you use Fate’s road. It works through magic, whether or not you understand the principles involved. The rating takes your ability into account.]
“So there’s potential. I just haven’t done anything with it outside my ability?”
[Essentially.]
Amy went back to the ability ratings. “And here I’ve got twelve for power and three for mastery. Lovely.”
[The readers can increase your power, Amy. Learning to use it is still your responsibility. You haven’t caught up yet.]
She pushed herself up on the bed. “Meaning most of that increase is going to waste because I don’t know what I’m doing. Great.”
[Which isn’t really surprising considering that you barely had a few days to acclimate to the experience. Practice will definitely narrow the gap; however, don’t expect quick upgrades. Training isn’t a life or death situation, and powers advance faster during those situations.]
“Yeah, I think I’ll spend the rest of the day practicing my ability, now that my core is somewhat healed. My mastery is way too low. There’s no point in having upgraded powers if I can’t use them properly, right?”
[…]
“What? Say it. I know you have something to comment…”
[I don’t think you should be training for the rest of the day.]
Amy’s body tensed, her fingers tightening. “And why is that…?”
There was a brief pause before Libris spoke again, its tone gentler than usual.
[Even if your core has replenished at a faster rate than expected, it is still delicate. Moreover, the minute of silence for Elias Varn… I think you should attend it instead of—]
“I should really focus on training my mastery,” She interrupted quickly, her eyes darting away from the book. “That’s what matters,” she murmured while nodding, as if convincing herself.
[Of course,] Libris replied after a moment. [Training would certainly be beneficial.]
“So, how exactly do I train this ‘mastery’ thing? Is there some exercise I can do, or…?”
[Your powers aren’t exactly something there is precedent for, so the only thing you can really do is to figure them out by yourself.]
“Then I guess I should get started…”
[You should.]
-————- ■ -————-
Amy didn’t attend the minute of silence for Elias Varn, but as the Academy bells began their toll at precisely 6 PM, their resonance reached every corner of the campus. Her hand stopped above Libris when she heard the first bell. She stayed like that for the whole minute, listening instead of continuing with her practice.
Even after the last note, she waited a little before lowering her hand and breathing out.
-————- ■ -————-
[Mastery increased to level 4. Congratulations.]
“Finally!”
By early evening, restlessness, tiredness, and hunger had finally caught up to her. She flopped onto her bed and groaned dramatically.
I should have rotted in bed just like I said I would… I’m so fucking dumb…
“I’m starving,” she complained, staring at the ceiling. “Is the dining hall still open?”
[It closes at eight when there are no classes. You had all afternoon to eat.]
Amy’s stomach growled. “Yes, thank you, very helpful. I’m still hungry, and I don’t have any money.”
[You could have had money. If you’d fulfilled the scholarship requirements instead of complaining about how many papers you’d have to complete, you wouldn’t be in this situation.]
A memory of her first day in this world came back to her mind. During her bureaucratic inscription into the Academy, she’d been offered the option of receiving a scholarship, which she would have accepted if she hadn’t been so tired of all the questions and the papers she had to sign.
Curse you, Goddess! I don’t know if you were the one who created me, but if you were, then it’s your fault I’m lazy!
“…Come on,” Amy rolled over to face the book. “Please? I’m really hungry.”
Libris remained silent for a long moment before emitting what sounded remarkably like a sigh.
[Check my inner back cover…]
Amy eagerly flipped to the back of the book, finding a thin leather pouch that definitely hadn’t been there before. Inside were several small silver coins stamped with the Academy’s crest.
“You’re a lifesaver!” she exclaimed, pocketing the money.
[You need to sort out your money situation. It’s annoying to constantly create more; do you even know how much energy it costs…?]
“Yeah, yeah,” Amy waved dismissively as she grabbed her jacket, pulled the book into her satchel, and headed for the door.
There were few people out on the paths toward the shops at the western edge of the grounds. Amy pulled her jacket closer as she walked; she’d stayed in her room long enough for it to get cold outside.
Then she reached the square and slowed down.
Someone had put a drawing of Elias there. Flowers and candles surrounded it, along with notes and little objects people had left. In the drawing, he was smiling.
Amy tried to take a route around it. She still ended up looking. There were so many flowers, far more than she’d expected, and she didn’t know why that bothered her. Most of these people hadn’t even known him.
A few students were still there. One bent to put down flowers while the others stood quietly nearby.
“That’s her.”
Amy walked faster. By the time she got to the noodle shop on the corner, she was almost running.
Only a few customers were inside, sitting at the counter. She ordered without looking at them, paid with the coins Libris had given her, and took the table furthest from the windows.
When the noodles and dumplings arrived, she considered asking to take them back to her room. But they were already in front of her, hot and smelling of spices, and she was too hungry to wait through the walk back.
She almost groaned at the first mouthful. Maybe it wasn’t anything special. Right now she really didn’t care.
She’d eaten about half when the door opened. Cold air came in with two more customers.
“Excuse me. Are you Amy Stake?”
Amy stopped eating. A woman in a plain dress was standing beside her table, one hand on the shoulder of a boy around Amy’s age. The woman looked to be in her thirties.
Amy recognized the boy’s ears first. Fluffy, dog-like, sticking out of his sandy hair. His tail was curled behind him. She hadn’t seen his face properly in the chamber, but she remembered those ears. He’d been one of the twelve.
“I was actually just leaving—” She started to get up, despite the bowl still in front of her.
“Please, just a moment. You are Amy Stake, aren’t you? You helped find the children?” The woman’s hand stayed on the boy’s shoulder. “I’ve been hoping to find you. Or someone else who was there. I’m sorry, I know people must keep stopping you…”
Amy sat back down, picking at the strap of her satchel. “…Yes…that’s me…”
The woman’s eyes brightened, and a small smile appeared on her face. “The moment I saw that golden hair, I knew it had to be you…”
“Is there anything I can do for—”
Before Amy could finish the sentence, the woman bowed deeply, her hand never leaving her boy’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “You brought my son back. I wanted to thank you properly, but I don’t think I can. Nothing I say seems enough.”
“You don’t have to. Really, it’s—” Amy caught herself looking toward the exit and quickly looked back. What was wrong with her? The woman was thanking her.
“When they told me he’d been taken, I argued with them.” She stood upright again, her hand still on Relan’s shoulder. “I’d been talking to him at home. I kept telling them that, as if they hadn’t heard me. Missing? But I’d spoken to him.” She glanced at Relan. “I’ve gone over everything I remember him saying. I thought knowing it wasn’t him would help me notice something, but it hasn’t. At the time, I didn’t doubt it at all.”
She held onto his shoulder. “I would have told you I could recognize my son anywhere. I really thought I could.” She took a moment before continuing. “Now I’ll remember something I did that day, something completely unimportant, and start wondering what he was going through then. It keeps me awake. When I do try to eat, I end up sitting there with the food going cold. If you hadn’t found him… I don’t know. I don’t know what I would have done.”
Amy looked toward the counter. Nobody there was talking anymore; they were all listening to the woman. She shifted in her seat, wishing she knew how to end this without making the woman feel worse.
“Please, you don’t need to tell me all that—”
“I know. I’m sorry.” She wiped her eye. “But the Academy told us how you and Lady Lain fought to get them out, and I couldn’t just go home without thanking you. None of those children were anything to you, were they? You could have left.” Relan stayed close as she went on. “He doesn’t want to talk about it much. He’s told me about the symbols and the dark. Enough to know how frightened he was, anyway. I don’t press him for the rest.” She looked back at Amy. “He said you came to help them. I didn’t even know he needed help. You were trying to save my boy before I knew he was gone.”
The boy—Relan—looked up at Amy with eyes full of timidness.
Amy’s body shifted in the chair, her appetite gone. “I was just in the right place.”
“Nonsense,” the woman shook her head firmly. “I know this is making you uncomfortable but please understand that what you did… it means everything to us. Truly everything. Relan is all I have in this world, especially after his father passed three years ago. My boy has been the only thing keeping me going forward since then. If he had disappeared forever…” Her voice faltered. “I don’t know what I would’ve done. I honestly don’t think I could’ve survived that loss.”
The woman squeezed the boy’s shoulder and gave him an encouraging nod, gesturing for him to step forward.
Relan approached her, his ears still flat against his head in nervousness. Then he bowed and in a low voice said, “Thank you.”
Amy stared at him, unable to form words.
The woman smiled at his son’s awkwardness. “He’s always been shy, but he insisted on coming to find you. We won’t take any more of your time, I promise. We just… needed to thank you. In person. All of you who were there that night. Crow, Lady Lain, Ash, Lyra… and you. We know very well what you kids did. And we won’t forget it.”
Amy sat in silence, only responding with a short nod.
It seemed to be enough. The woman bowed once more, then guided Relan out, disappearing into the now-dark evening.
Amy stayed motionless for several long moments before mechanically gathering her things and standing. Half her food was still in the bowl. She left it there and walked out.
She passed the memorial again on the way back. Someone whispered as she passed. Amy barely noticed; she couldn’t have said who it was, or even what they’d said.
Back in her room, she closed the door and leaned against it. She meant to go to bed, but instead found herself sitting on the floor with her knees against her chest.
“I hate the silence,” she murmured after several minutes.
[Pardon?]
“The silence,” Amy repeated, staring at nothing. “My mother always kept the TV on so loudly that I couldn’t even keep count of how many times the neighbors complained. I never understood it before. Now I do.”
[I don’t understand. Is it because silence leaves room for thought?]
Amy nodded slowly. “And memory…and guilt…”
[You have nothing to feel guilty about. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished. A good deed is worth celebrating.]
“…’good’… That’s the problem, Libris. I’ve never been good…”
She picked at a loose thread on her sleeve, unable to meet the book’s metaphorical gaze.
[I beg to differ. Despite my numerous complaints about you—]
“No, you don’t get it,” Amy interrupted, her voice growing harder. “I was awful back home. Before any of this.”
[Everyone has regrets—]
“I bullied a girl in my class. Mira.” Amy looked down at her hands. “She had glasses, these ridiculous glasses, and braces. Really smart, too. I was obsessed with her.”
[Obsessed?]
“Yeah.” She let her head rest against the door. “I didn’t understand what I felt for her. I still don’t. Anyway, I took it out on her.”
Amy shut her eyes. “I’d steal her notebooks, or knock whatever she was carrying out of her hands. And I knew what to call her to make the others laugh, so I did that too.” She pressed her nails into her palms. “And she’d cry, and I’d feel awful. Then I’d do it again. As long as she paid attention to me, I suppose it didn’t matter how I got it.”
[I see.]
“No, you don’t.” She looked up at Libris. “She stopped coming to school. For days. When she came back she barely spoke. She’d tried to— Her parents transferred her to another school but It did not matter, in the end… Ughh… I never even apologized.”
[We all have regrets, Amy. That doesn’t mean—]
“Can we not?” Amy cut in. “I don’t even know why I told you…”
She pulled her knees closer and stopped talking. That should have been the end of it.
[Your feelings are fascinating.]
Amy looked up. Libris sounded like a machine again. “What?”
[How much you feel. Even now, when you’re describing something you wish you hadn’t done. There is so much to it. The guilt, the shame…]
“Are you studying me? Seriously?” She wiped her cheek. Great, she was crying now.
[I don’t understand it,] Libris said. [You want the guilt to stop, but you speak as though you’ve lived with it for years.]
Amy stared at the book. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
[Nothing. I don’t know how that feels. You keep wishing you could forget her, yet the memory still hurts. I can’t help being curious.]
“…”
[And about simpler things. Eating something because you like the taste. Feeling it when somebody touches your hand. Having a life you can look back on and say, I was different then. I wonder about those things, Amy.]
She could hear the students outside. For a while she listened to them instead, because she had no idea how to answer Libris.
[Amy. In the nightmare, you said you’d give me anything I wanted. Do you remember?] The voice was still metallic.
“…Yes…”
[And yesterday?]
She frowned. “I said I owed you?”
[A favor. Any favor.]
“I did.” Amy shifted against the door. “What about it…?”
[I’ve been thinking about what to ask for. There is something I want.]
“Libris, I—”
[I know. This is hardly a good time. You have the Gaspards to deal with, the readers, everything that is going to happen to this world. And now you’ve told me all this. I don’t want to give you another thing to worry about.]
Its pages moved, though there was no breeze in the room.
[But I want to be human, Amy. That is the favor. Help me become human. I don’t want anything else from you.]